Customs
Being polite is very important in Japan. Some of the difficulty with spoken Japanese comes from the fact that verbs have different forms, depending upon the level of politeness/respect required. For a tourist, this is not a big problem. But what if you're in a business environment? Japanese etiquette is complex, but these few pointers will put you in the right direction.
Introductions
Making a good impression is very important and, as in the West, being very polite upon first meeting is mandatory.
Don't forget, address those you meet as their surname plus 'san' e.g. 'Ichikawa-san', 'Morita-san'. You should also expect to be referred to as your surname, so you shouldn't ask to be called your first name.
'Basic Japanese' shows the language behind meetings.
Bowing
Bowing isn't just the Japanese equivalent of a handshake; bows also convey thanks and apologies. The depth of the bow indicates relative status between two people, as well as the reason for bowing -- the more grateful you are, the deeper the bow. The intricacies of bowing are not expected to be common knowledge amongst foreigners, but there are a few tips you ought to know.
- Bow from the waist, keeping your arms straight at your sides, with your palms on your thighs and your eyes low.
- When someone bows to you, imitate their bow. If you copy those who know what they're doing, you're more likely to get it right!
- Don't go over the top with your bow.
- Don't ignore a bow: this is roughly equivalent to ignoring someone with their hand outstretched.
- You may well get a handshake, but you should be prepared to bow.
Business Cards
After bowing, business cards (or 'meishi') will be exchanged. Trading business cards is almost a small ceremony in itself.
- Give and accept business cards with both hands.
- Business cards should have your details in your mother-tongue on one side and Japanese on the other, so you'll need to have your business card translated. Give the card with the Japanese side facing upwards.
- The card should include your name and title and your company's name, address, telephone number and e-mail address.
- Do not put a card which someone has given you in your wallet or pocket (especially not the back pocket of your trousers).
- Do not write on the card.
- Read the business card carefully as a show of respect.
- Memorise the name and title on the card.
- Business cannot commence until everyone's business cards have been exchanged.
Doing Business
- Dress smartly: casual clothes are strictly for casual situations. And sorry, ladies, but skirts are the norm; accessories and heels have to be toned down, too.
- Your position at the table is determined by your status: the higher your rank, the closer you sit to the head of the table (the boss's seat). You'll be told where to sit.
- Sit down when you're told to and only stand up once the boss has done so. If you're served a drink, make sure the boss drinks first, too.
- Taking notes is a good idea, but make sure not to write anyone's name in red pen -- even your own.
Communication
- The Japanese do not like saying 'no', even to the extent that a 'yes' could mean 'no'. Bear this in mind when negotiating. (If you receive an invitation for a night out or to visit to someone's house, it may just be an act of politeness; not a genuine invitation!)
- 'Shi' means both 'four' and 'death'.
- Keep gesturing to a minimum. The Japanese do not express themselves as 'enthusiastically' as westerners!
- A smile could indicate happiness, confusion, embarrassment... Be careful!
- Silence is golden in Japan, so don't break it just because you feel awkward.
- Public displays of affection are frowned upon in Japan. In some of the bigger cities, you may see couples holding hands, but as a general rule, don't touch people!
Dining
As Japanese houses tend to be quite small, the Japanese do their entertaining outside of the home (being invited into someone's home is a rare privilege). It's more likely that you'll be taken out for the evening, where you may or may not discuss business. This could be dinner, or a trip to a karaoke or 'hostess' bar. (Hostesses are like a modern form of geisha, but without the class. The hostess's duty is to entertain and charm the client in order to make him spend as much money as possible, which is often quite a lot.) Think up a good excuse if you don't drink; drinking is expected as a way of de-stressing.
Here are the basics of dining in Japan:
- Don't drink straight from a bottle and never pour your own drink; wait for someone to do it for you.
- The host orders and pays. If you take a Japanese client out (preferably to a western-style restaurant), insist upon paying. Your client will refuse, but keep insisting!
- Before eating, it is customary to say 'いただきます。' (itadakimasu). After eating, you should say 'ごちそうさまでした。' (gochisousama deshita). These are difficult phrases to translate, but think of them as 'Let's eat!' and 'Thanks for the meal!'
- Lifting bowls to your mouth to avoid spilling food is acceptable, as is slurping noodles (which has the added bonus of helping to cool them down). Don't slurp other foods such as spaghetti, though.
- Clearing one's plate is polite; you should warn your host beforehand if there are any foods that you can't/won't eat.
- Learn to use chopsticks correctly and don't wave them around or spear food with them. Don't pass food around with chopsticks, either: this is how the bones of the dead are handled.
- Don't cover rice in soy sauce; soy sauce should be placed in a bowl and food should then be dipped into it.
- If you are presented with a hand towel (oshiburi), do not wipe your neck or face with it.
- Tipping isn't expected in Japan.
- After a meal, you may visit another establishment, such as a café or bar. If you've been treated to the meal, offer to pay for coffees or drinks. Watch out: if you end up at a hostess bar, things can get VERY expensive!
Gifts
Giving gifts is important both in business and in a more personal setting. As a visitor, a souvenir of your homeland is a good gift to give, but high-quality food and drink and goods from top-end department stores are a good choice, too. However, the ceremony of gift-giving is more important than the gift itself. If you are visiting someone's home, it is vital that you bring a gift (which is usually given in the living room).
- It is vital to wrap the gift, but don't use white (the colour of death) or anything too flashy such as bright colours and bows. Hotels and department stores will often wrap gifts for you.
- Gifts tend to be given at the end of a visit and be sure to warn your host that they're getting a gift.
- Give and receive gifts with both hands.
- The phrase 'つまらない物ですが......' (tsumaranai mono desu ga) is said when giving a gift. It roughly translates to 'This is just a small thing, but please take it anyway...'
- Don't give an odd number of presents (odd numbers are unlucky) or four of anything.
- Presents are normally opened later on after the giver has left (perhaps luckily if the recipient doesn't like the gift!). If you are persuaded into opening a present, be sure to not destroy the wrapping!
General Rules
- Take off your shoes when entering someone's house (there may be slippers for you to change into). Make sure to change into the designated bathroom slippers every time you enter the bathroom.
- Pointing is considered rude.
- Don't blow your nose in public.
- Don't count change that's been handed to you: the vendor will think that you don't trust them.
- Don't eat or drink whilst walking and it's also advisable not to eat or drink on a train -- if you're on a rush hour train, you probably wouldn't be able to, anyway!
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